Archives: Characters

Dream of The White Wolf

Herein is as much as I remember about the dream that gave The White Wolf and The Darkness its title.  It’s kind of bizarre, being a dream and such.  I will never forget this dream as long as I live.  It is the most intense and vivid I have ever had.

A few months before my wife and I moved out here to St. Joseph, I had a dream —  and it was one of those that, if you’re lucky, you remember forever.  I am lucky.  It started out in some kind of teen bar or club.  A bunch of hormonal teenagers in eighties rock clothes acting cool.  It reminded me of the first live action Ninja Turtles movie…good times.  Anyway, a big fight broke out and a bunch of them were dog-piling onto each other and it was just a really stupid bar fight.  I wanted out of there so I asked a particularly sneery looking street tough with a mohawk to let me out.  He nodded and turned around where there was a big vault-like door.  He opened it and gestured for me to go through asking if I knew where it led.  I replied, and I quote, “It is to here that all places lead and from here that all places go” and stepped through.  This is the point where the dream changed, in that way that makes you feel like you aren’t dreaming anymore.

Before me lay what I can only describe as the lower levels of a great and vast castle in a frozen and snowy region.  Everything had a slightly blue tinge to it, which was calming.  I explored the place and realized that I was underground, but I could still see outside through windows high up in the walls.  All that I could see through these windows was a cold grey sky, which again was calming.  As I moved through the – dungeon?- I got the distinct impression that there was something very bad within these walls that I now moved through.  I became apprehensive, then.  I was unarmed and had little to no idea what I might be facing.   I thought it best to leave and return with some of my friends and make a good and proper party adventure out of it.  It was then that I saw a steel ladder leading up embedded into one of the walls.  This part always reminds me of the sewers beneath the Imperial City in Elder Scrolls: Oblivion.

I climbed out of the sewer/dungeon/castle and found myself within the ruins of what appeared to be some old castle.  As I explored these surroundings I realized that I was in my home town of Arbutus MD, and that the ruins were on top of what was once the playground behind the house I grew up in.  As I came out of the ruins, I saw familiar landmarks:  my elementary school, which was right next to my house, the basketball court, the field….and something else most curious.  There were a group of kids, young boys about 10-14 and they were dressed as knights and beating the crap out of each other, with wooden swords and lances.  I tried to help them by offering pointers, but the moment I thought of this, the dream changed again.  To this day, I have no idea of the significance of those young knights.

Suddenly it was night, and the parking lot of my old school was littered with refuse and steel trashcans with fire coming out of them.  There were also some kind of shanty lean-tos built next to the basketball court for some reason.  It seemed like a scene from a post apocalyptic movie.  It was colder than it had been before, even colder than it had been in the castle and I suddenly realized that I was stark naked, which was nice because as I’ve stated in the past, I like the cold.  Then I saw it, The White Wolf.  I immediately went into survival mode and ran around the side of one of the lean-tos and climbed up on top of it.  The wolf gave chase, but didn’t growl or bark or anything.  It just followed me and looked up at me when I reached the top.  I kept thinking that I needed to kill it or it was going to eat me and out of nowhere I was filled with a great strength and fury.  I somehow reached down and grabbed the wolf by its throat, lifting it into the air.

What happened next will forever be etched into my mind and soul and almost always makes me cry when I think about it.  As I stood there, naked and wild and free, I knew that this wolf was my teacher.  I knew that it meant me no harm and most importantly I knew that its life was in my hands.  I was more powerful than the wolf and the wolf knew this.  Still it did not flinch or struggle as I held it in the air, it just kept gasping for air.  I never before, or since, felt as powerful as I did then.  I looked at the wolf and knew I could destroy it and I knew too, that if I did, I would regret it forever.  I released the White Wolf and woke from my dream next to my wife.  I remember feeling as though the wolf had embraced me at the end.  Not literally, you understand, but in an emotional and spiritual way.  It was from this dream that I got the title of my book and the dramatis persona of its main character.

Do you ever have any memorable dreams?

I wanna hear about ’em!  Leave it in the comments if you please.  Thanks for listening and as always, have a wonderful day.