When I really stopped and thought about this for a while, it was easy to draw parallels between these people and victims of sexual abuse, or even abuse in general. The whirlwind of negative and self-destructive emotions that a person goes through with abuse mirror the same for abductees. Those abused often try to drive the experience from their mind, which causes a lot of other psychological issues. Or, because they CAN’T drive it from their minds, they lash out at the world. They also, almost always, go on to suffer from some form of depression.Continue reading
Herein is as much as I remember about the dream that gave The White Wolf and The Darkness its title. It’s kind of bizarre, being a dream and such. I will never forget this dream as long as I live. It is the most intense and vivid I have ever had.
A few months before my wife and I moved out here to St. Joseph, I had a dream — and it was one of those that, if you’re lucky, you remember forever. I am lucky. It started out in some kind of teen bar or club. A bunch of hormonal teenagers in eighties rock clothes acting cool. It reminded me of the first live action Ninja Turtles movie…good times. Anyway, a big fight broke out and a bunch of them were dog-piling onto each other and it was just a really stupid bar fight. I wanted out of there so I asked a particularly sneery looking street tough with a mohawk to let me out. He nodded and turned around where there was a big vault-like door. He opened it and gestured for me to go through asking if I knew where it led. I replied, and I quote, “It is to here that all places lead and from here that all places go” and stepped through. This is the point where the dream changed, in that way that makes you feel like you aren’t dreaming anymore.
Before me lay what I can only describe as the lower levels of a great and vast castle in a frozen and snowy region. Everything had a slightly blue tinge to it, which was calming. I explored the place and realized that I was underground, but I could still see outside through windows high up in the walls. All that I could see through these windows was a cold grey sky, which again was calming. As I moved through the – dungeon?- I got the distinct impression that there was something very bad within these walls that I now moved through. I became apprehensive, then. I was unarmed and had little to no idea what I might be facing. I thought it best to leave and return with some of my friends and make a good and proper party adventure out of it. It was then that I saw a steel ladder leading up embedded into one of the walls. This part always reminds me of the sewers beneath the Imperial City in Elder Scrolls: Oblivion.
I climbed out of the sewer/dungeon/castle and found myself within the ruins of what appeared to be some old castle. As I explored these surroundings I realized that I was in my home town of Arbutus MD, and that the ruins were on top of what was once the playground behind the house I grew up in. As I came out of the ruins, I saw familiar landmarks: my elementary school, which was right next to my house, the basketball court, the field….and something else most curious. There were a group of kids, young boys about 10-14 and they were dressed as knights and beating the crap out of each other, with wooden swords and lances. I tried to help them by offering pointers, but the moment I thought of this, the dream changed again. To this day, I have no idea of the significance of those young knights.
Suddenly it was night, and the parking lot of my old school was littered with refuse and steel trashcans with fire coming out of them. There were also some kind of shanty lean-tos built next to the basketball court for some reason. It seemed like a scene from a post apocalyptic movie. It was colder than it had been before, even colder than it had been in the castle and I suddenly realized that I was stark naked, which was nice because as I’ve stated in the past, I like the cold. Then I saw it, The White Wolf. I immediately went into survival mode and ran around the side of one of the lean-tos and climbed up on top of it. The wolf gave chase, but didn’t growl or bark or anything. It just followed me and looked up at me when I reached the top. I kept thinking that I needed to kill it or it was going to eat me and out of nowhere I was filled with a great strength and fury. I somehow reached down and grabbed the wolf by its throat, lifting it into the air.
What happened next will forever be etched into my mind and soul and almost always makes me cry when I think about it. As I stood there, naked and wild and free, I knew that this wolf was my teacher. I knew that it meant me no harm and most importantly I knew that its life was in my hands. I was more powerful than the wolf and the wolf knew this. Still it did not flinch or struggle as I held it in the air, it just kept gasping for air. I never before, or since, felt as powerful as I did then. I looked at the wolf and knew I could destroy it and I knew too, that if I did, I would regret it forever. I released the White Wolf and woke from my dream next to my wife. I remember feeling as though the wolf had embraced me at the end. Not literally, you understand, but in an emotional and spiritual way. It was from this dream that I got the title of my book and the dramatis persona of its main character.
Do you ever have any memorable dreams?
I wanna hear about ’em! Leave it in the comments if you please. Thanks for listening and as always, have a wonderful day.
Halloween is almost here and I thought I’d give you guys my top five list for scariest movies. These are movies that scare the shit out of me and leave me feeling apprehensive and nervous for days after I watch them. Some are classics, some are not as well known, but all are perfect for your scare fest for the season. I’ll first say that almost all of them are supernatural horrors. I don’t get scared at slasher movies because I FEAR NO MAN and torture porn just makes me sick to my stomach and makes me worry for the world as they seem to be so very popular. No, all of the movies on my list are about shit being completely out of the average Joe’s understanding, let alone control.
5. The Exorcist
I know what you’re thinking. “The Exorcist? Wtf?!? This should be like number one on the list!” Yeah, I agree that as far as supernatural horrors go, this is kind of the creme of the crop. The problem is that I saw this one when I was 5 and then many,-MANY times thereafter, so some of the shock and creep is taken out of it for me at this point in my life. As with most of the horror movies from this era, the scariest thing about them (for me at least) is the sound. Not the sound track, but the actual SOUNDS. The voice of the demon is terrifying to me. The crab walk, not so much.
4. Session 9
Session 9 is a movie I found all on my own one day when I was around 17 years old. This was again one of those films where the voices or sounds of the movie scared me more then what was actually happening. The voice on the tape terrifies me and we still aren’t sure what it is. The relatively mundane tone of the film at its beginning coupled with the idea that this could have easily been me (I used to do a lot of contract/painting and the like in my youth), made for an atmosphere that was all too frighteningly familiar. Session 9 also leaves the watcher feeling not just scared, but really sort of depressed and worried about their state of mind. Plus, it was before David Caruso wore cool sunglasses, so there wasn’t even any comic relief.
Ah, this one is easily my favorite. I saw Phantasm before I could form words, I think. This movie has solidly the most memorable main title theme in a horror movie ever. Just hearing the theme can make my hairs stand on end. I’m listening to it now and…eep, there they go. The Tall Man, the Dwarves, the portal to fucking Mars it seems, the silver death balls, THE FUCKING BEE MONSTER AT THE END!! All of these things come together to craft a solid B horror title that never ceases to terrify me. Fun fact: I met Angus Scrimm when I was 8 at a convention with my dad and sister. He was VERY nice and took a pic with us all. He even called me BOY! Another fun fact: My Dad kind of looks/looked like Angus Scrimm and was also fond of calling me BOY! I had an exciting childhood.
2. The Shining
I don’t think any list of good horror films could be complete without at least mentioning The Shining. Jack Nicholson has arguably never been scarier in anything else. Jack’s slow decent into total madness and Danny’s creepiness (yes, Danny was a creepy little kid, I said it) made the atmosphere oppressive to say the least. The thing that always got to me, though, you know, aside from the evil twins, bear costume weirdness and psycho with an axe, was how sweet Shelly Duvall was in this movie. More than many a damsel in distress, I really felt for her in this movie. She was just always so sweet, which made the idea of harm coming to her more terrifying. These days, you can’t wait for someone to die in a horror movie, because everyone is always so mean or asinine. More than anything though, room 237 lives in my memory and my nightmares.
1. The Haunting
The Haunting is hands down the most terrifying movie I’ve ever watched. Once again one I saw, or rather, was forced to watch it when I was very young. With relatively few true special effects, The Haunting scares the viewer with strange cinematography, a dark and oppressive setting and one damned creepy actress. This movie scared me more with a close-up of a small section of wallpaper and some weird sounds in the background than most movies can with all the bloody make-up they can muster. Anytime I’m thinking of scary movies, I think of the Haunting. There are so many solid scenes that could be considered the scariest in the movie, I can’t really choose one. If you are a horror movie fan and haven’t seen this one, you OWE it to yourself to watch it alone in the dark.
What horror movies should I watch Right Now?
What horror movies do you watch? What do you love about them? Is there one I should drop everything to watch right now? Let me know in the comments and have a nice, spooky day.